The love you're allowed to have
by Birge
Summary: A missing moment between Ron and Harry a couple of days before they have to flee. A little bit of Hermione at the end.


'This is the place I used to come as a kid when George or Fred didn't stop teasing me and I sort of needed a break, you know.' He said, sighting heavily. His voice sounded hollow, as if those foolish pranks didn't matter anymore, which in our circumstances actually didn't. I looked at him, trying to understand his thinking. Seeing him like he is right now, even after all this time is a shock to me. He doesn't look like the little boy anymore, who thought less about himself; he had grown out of that practically overnight. He is in full war-mode. I can sense it, see it, and hear it in his determined voice. He knows what is coming, he also knows what he has to do and I know he would go to any length of getting the job done. In a weird way, it frightens me; he is after all still my best friend. Seeing him, all set to fight sends a chill down my spine. I lost so many people, I cannot afford another casualty.

'I never showed this place to anyone before, well except for her than. I took her here last summer. Not knowing what kind of an idiot I would turn in to the months following that day. It was one of those few times that I thought there was something, you know, just something going on. I should have said something then, but I was terrified like hell. I was such an idiot, looking back, I can remember her face so clearly, it was full of anticipation, hope and love, I think. When I had asked her if she wanted to go back, before anyone got suspicious, she just went along, trying to hide the disappointment, but I caught it in her eyes and her voice, it was obvious, even though she thought I didn't catch the undertone laced in her words and swimming in her eyes. Damn I hate myself; here we are now, no time for such a feelings to unravel. We need our heads to be clear, ready for a fight and an attack at any moment, right?'

The desperation in his voice is crystal clear and it hurts. He so desperately wants her to know what he feels, but after everything, he chooses not to, to protect us. Being afraid if he did it right now, they would both be completely distracted by one another. The thing, even though they aren't going to say anything, they are already distracting each other anyways, for months, maybe even years. No words needed for that to happen. I turn so I am facing him, demanding him to look me in the eye, I take one deep breath.

'You're allowed to love her, you know. I won't stop you; I don't think I can stop you, because I think you two are already there. Wordless, but nonetheless, you guys are in that place where there is no turning back, where your own life isn't worth saving if the other one isn't there with you to live it. I won't stop you. I wanted you to know that. There may be a war ahead of us, but you should have a shot at love, even if it's just helping one another to survive or take care of the wounds we are bound to get or chasing away soon to come nightmares or whatever there is needed to give comfort to the other person.' I keep my eyes locked on him, determined to make my case clear. He has a look of hesitation on his face, he looks confused for a split second, than his facials change and he looks thankful and a bit unhappy, as if something I said touched a wrong nerve. He seems to be fighting with some thoughts, I see him shifting, deliberating whatever he is going to say.

'Harry, why? And bloody hell how?' he eventually whisper, Ron Weasly, speechless because he's genuinely touched by what I said. This world is getting mental.

'I've been friends with you two for a very long time. I've had many spare time to observe her and you interacting with each other, while you guys were having one of your many famous fights. I saw it long before either of you did. By the way, I'm not the only one, your brothers were the ones coming to me, asking if finally something had happended, but I always had to tell them bad news. They were just as convinced as I was that her and you were end game.' I smile and I my smile gets even wider when I see his reaction. Completely in shock, knowing his brothers kept tabs on him and how his relationship with the one girl he actually cared about was developing for the last couple of years.

'they only started to have a suspicion after the Yule Ball, well, to be honest…' I am cut off by Ron for a second.

'Yes, please be honest!' he says.

'Well the Yule Ball thing and the way you acted and stuff, that was more of a conformation of all what they suspected. Not really the start of it all. You know, if you look back on it, we have to be honest, it was sort of clear then, what was going on between you two.' I carefully look at my friend, who seems unusually calm for his being. I am a bit worries I crossed the line by starting about the ball, I know he hates it.

'You guys are all crazy, leaving me in the dark and stuff. Letting me act like a complete jerk towards her. Making her feel awful and making her hate me the way she did. While you all knew I loved her, I was just too insecure for god sake I said it out loud. Who the hell care anyways now? You all knew I needed just one confirmation that she liked me back; just the slightest and I would have never been so oblivious. I know I was and I also know what you are going to say, that she was very clear what she felt, but I was to obnoxious to see it. I know, but mate, seriously, if she ever finds out you knew, she may even hate you more than she hated me when I crushed her heart a million times over.'

He starts laughing, it gets louder and louder and louder until he needs to lay down, because he's laughing so hard he can barely stand anymore. I join in half way, when we stop, all the tension and shame between us is gone. We have one minute of silence when he takes a step forward and hugs me. Saying thank you in is very own way.

He has changed so much the past few weeks I barely even recognize him. he is still just Ron, but a more mature and less tense Ron. The jokes are back, the insecurity is less, probably the work of a very specific person called Hermione, who I've seen doing her best being as much in his presence as possible. Making him feel her love. Off course no words involved, nothing physical either, not that I know. Just them being them is enough to bring the best of the other person rise to the surface. He lets go of me and I'm sure it's because of the noise of footsteps I can hear, who are very nearby. The voice is way to familiar, I don't even think who's it from. Her soft voice makes him smile even more, I love it.

'Ron? Harry?' She asks.

'Yeah it's us, we're at the top.' Ron shouts back, still with that goofy grin on his face.

'Oh, okay.' She says back, while walking in the meadow. She looks confused, disappointed and happy all at the same time. To my surprise, he catches it too. So before I can even say hi, he's by her side, taking her hand at lacing it with his. Her cheeks get a bit red when he does that.

'No worries, I just wanted to show this place to Harry, you know, before we leave. It's a nice place to think about when we will be on the run. I didn't think you would mind.' I can hear the concern in his voice, but her face softens after he explained the reason of my presence in their 'special' place. She lets herself have a little smile and then looks at their hands. She looks directly at me, leaving him unanswered if it is okay or not. I bet he gets the answer when I can clearly see she even holds his hand tighter.

'So Harry, do you like it?' she asks friendly.

'Yes very much, great view and everything. A lot of privacy too.' At that she lets go of my gaze and I know she knows I know about last year. But Ron caught that last bit too and his face has gotten a lot redder too. I wonder if…

My thoughts are interrupted by the voice of Hermione.

'I think we should get going, don't you think?' nodding at Ron.

'Yes definitely!' he agrees.

The both turn around, looking as red as tomatoes. But, but, but, not letting go of each other's hand. And walking ever so slightly closer near one another.

I am almost sure they stole a kiss in that meadow last year. Grinning all the way back to the Burrow, I can't remember the last time I felt so happy as I am right now. Seeing the two of them being a thing and not being one at exact the same time, how it is so typically them to be like that.


End file.
